The Speech No One Asked Me To Write

My sister got married this past Saturday.  It was a great day.  I got strangely nervous in the morning and then I realized I wasn’t nervous, I was happy for her.  And maybe a little scared that I was losing a sister.

But then I realized. I’m not losing a sister. Not at all. I’m keeping her, and gaining a brother. Woohoo!

My sister wanted a very simple wedding. She didn’t have any bridesmaids. That was completely fine by me. That meant I could wear what I wanted, could stand where I wanted, could basically do what I wanted. It was really nice.

But as Saturday got closer and closer, I wanted my sister to know that if she needed anything, all she had to do was ask. I could do anything for her. And do anything I did. She asked me to hold her bouquet while she was inside the Temple. (She got married in the Bountiful LDS Temple) I was more than happy to do that. After she asked, we both agreed that that kinda made me the Maid of Honor, even though she didn’t have one.

Then came the issue of the groom’s tuxedo. It needed to be back at the rental place today. They are not in town. My sister asked me to take the tuxedo back. I said it would be fine. I was there to help, and she, well they, needed help with that. I could help. So I did. After I agreed to help my sister told me that the guy at the rental place told them that it’s really the Best Man’s duty to bring the tuxedo back. As I was doing that, I guess that meant I was kinda, sorta the best man.

Best Man and Maid of Honor. All rolled into one.

Now. Some of you may be asking why I volunteered to do whatever she needed. I realized, on Friday night, as I was sitting up late at night helping her finalize everything she needed, that it wasn’t because I wanted to be seen as the most helpful, or whatever my helpfulness may imply. I was doing it because I love her. My sister is one of my best friends, and helping her do whatever she needed was one of my ways of showing her that I would be there for her, whenever she needed me. Because I love her.

Whoa. Crying. Wasn’t expecting that. Let’s all take a second and calm down.

OK? OK. Good.

So. As the Best Man and the Maid of Honor all rolled into one, one would assume that I would give a toast or some equivalent at the reception. But there were no toasts at the reception. Which was actually like the best thing ever. There was no show, just visiting and eating. It was really perfect.

But. Now I’m sitting in an empty apartment. The wedding is over, and I feel like I should give some sort of toast/speech/thingy. So I will. I think I’ll take the open letter approach. Here goes nothing.


Congratulations on getting married! I am so happy for you. I know you are happy because you look happy. You know, it’s weird. It seemed like there was so much hype and build up to the first wedding in our family and here we are. No hype. Not too much build up. Just happiness. I love it.

When we first moved in together, I’m not going to lie, I was a little hesitant. I mean, I knew that I would be moving in with someone who I obviously knew and that I would get along with, but I also knew that there would be times that we wouldn’t get along. Well. I wasn’t wrong. There were times that you drove me crazy and I know that there are times that I drove you crazy. We had such different schedules that it was difficult at times. There were times that I woke you up at night after I got home so late from work. I know that, and I felt badly about it. I know that we both work so hard and it was an adjustment to have a roommate who went to bed at a decent hour, while I stayed up doing homework or watching Netflix or not sleeping. I know that there were times that we didn’t get along. But there were so many more times that we did. So many times that we laughed together or did things together. We lived together and we did things that roommates, but more importantly sisters, did together. We cried together and comforted each other. We helped each other out. We relied on each other. We asked for help, opinions, and advice. Above all, we loved each other. There were so many times that you would tell me ‘Goodnight’ or ‘I love you’ that meant so much to me; they were exactly what I needed to hear.

I know that Maid of Honor speeches are supposed to highlight funny things that happened between the Bride and the Maid of Honor, but I don’t have any. I just have love for you. I love you so much, because you love me. You are my sister, and I couldn’t ask for a better one.

(See? I told you. Tears everywhere.)

OK, maybe I’ll tell a story. Just so I’m not crying anymore.

When we were younger, Emily and I shared a room. One night, there was a ferocious thunderstorm. The thunder was very loud and was accompanied by lightning that would light up our entire room. I was absolutely terrified. I couldn’t move I was so scared. If I had been able to move, I would have jumped up and asked my sister if I could get in bed with her, because it’s not as scary when someone who is braver than you is next to you. Just when I couldn’t handle it anymore, a silhouette appeared by my bedside and asked me if it could get into my bed with me, because it was scared of the storm. The silhouette was, of course, Emily. I had no idea she was still awake, let alone as scared as I was. I was more than happy to scoot over and share my bed. So I did, and I wasn’t as scared anymore.

OK OK OK. Maybe that wasn’t the best example of a tear free story.

Here’s another. About two years ago, Emily decided she wanted a dresser for her living room. This dresser was to hold blankets, movies, music, whatever a living room dresser is supposed to hold. She picked one out and asked me to help her move it from the store to her apartment. She was worried because it was really heavy, and she didn’t think we would be able to do it alone. We went to the store, and saw the dresser sitting on the curb, ready for us to haul away. I got out of the car and tried to lift one side of the dresser. It was heavy. I didn’t think we would be able to do it either. Then we both decided that we should take the drawers out, to prevent both the drawers from breaking and the car from breaking because of the drawers. After the drawers were out of the dresser, I attempted to lift my side of the dresser again. I immediately put it down and began to laugh really hard. Without the drawers, the dresser was very light. I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t even tell Emily that the dresser minus the drawers was not going to be a problem. I had to mime to her to pick up her side of the dresser. She did, and then she began to laugh as hard I was. We loaded the dresser and the drawers, and got into the car. We laughed all the way to her apartment. We are still laughing about it.

That’s a better no tears story. The bottom line, Emily, is I love you and I am so happy for you to start your new life together with Rick.


Congratulations! We haven’t known each other for as long as I’ve known Emily, this is true. But I do know that you are the best person for her. You make her laugh. You make her better. You are who she turns to. You are the best for her.

When you and Emily first started dating, you were just a goofy guy that hung out at our apartment sometimes. If I’m being completely honest, and I apologize for this, I didn’t know how long you were going to be around. But you stuck around, and I am glad you did. You make me laugh, sometimes at my expense, but you also bring a boy perspective to everything. I find that strangely refreshing.

One thing I’ve always liked about you is your ability to laugh at pretty much anything. You always laugh at what I have to say, and that means a lot. When you met our family, you fit right in. Although the rest of the family had just met you, it seemed like you had been around for a while. Sure, it might have been awkward right at first, but that quickly changed. You’ve become part of the family, and I know I speak for all of us when I say we are happy to have you.

I don’t know if you realize you did this, but a couple of weeks ago, we had a conversation as we were moving that black table into mine and Emily’s apartment. We were talking about a DVR. You told me that you were excited for me, because I keep up with a lot of sports and a DVR would make my life easier (Your actual words were, “Whoa. That’s huge for you, considering how much stuff you keep up with.”). The thing I don’t realize you did was you cared about what was going on with me. The way you talked to me, you had real caring in your voice. It was a small thing, but it struck me, because it meant that you cared. I appreciate that. Immensely. Thank you.

I don’t know if this is a weird thing to say, but I’m going to say it anyway. I love you too, Rick. After all, you are family now.

Although I haven’t been around Rick long enough to collect any funny stories, I know that there will be many to come in the future. I’m looking forward to it.

I love you two. I really do.


Phew. Made it through writing that, only minus a lot of some tears.


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