Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyy…you….?

We’ve all done it.

You see someone you know, but don’t remember their name.  Instead of guessing, you just say, awkwardly, “Hey…..you.” Because ‘you’ can refer to anyone, you are not in the wrong, right?

Yes. Right.

Or, you see someone you don’t know but you think you do know them.  If you are lucky, they aren’t close to you and are in waving distance.  You wave, but they don’t know you are waving at them, so you only feel like a dork for a second.  If you aren’t lucky, they are standing right next to you and you think you can strike up a conversation with this stranger.

I.  Am.  Unlucky.

Lemme tell you how it went down.

I was at work.  I work at Old Navy (Come fun, come all! But another time it will have to be for all stories related to the ON…and trust me, I have stories).  This evening, I was at work, just folding away.  Ya know, normal Thursday stuff.

(Ok, here is where the back story goes.  I have a friend named Shannon.  I met her our freshman year of college.  We’re still friends.  It’s great.  But I haven’t seen her in a long time.  And since neither of us live in the dorms anymore, or even attend school in the same part of campus, we don’t see each other much anymore.  OK.  End back story.)

So.  I’m still folding clothes.  We close at 9 and it was about 857.  We were all ready to be closed.  I was standing at the front of the store, by the doors (obviously).  Then a couple walked in.  They looked like they were in a hurry.  And, I SWEAR, one of them was Shannon!  She looked at me and I greeted her like I do every customer, and then….this happened:

Me: How’s it going–Hey! How are you?

Her: Hey…? I’m good!  How are you…?

Me (I approached her and…GAVE HER AN AWKWARD ONE ARM HUG…I KNOW, I KNOW! IT’S THAT BAD): I’m good!  What are you looking for tonight?

Her: Oh, we’re just going to a gymnastics place and need some clothes to work out in.  (She gestured to the guy she was with)  This is my fiance.

Me (Still thinking it’s Shannon.): Oh, hello.  Fiance? That’s great.

IF YOU THOUGHT THE SIDE-ONE-ARM HUG WAS BAD, THEN WAIT. IT GETS BETTER.

Me (still still STILL thinking it’s Shannon), being me, was so excited about this newly discovered engagement, that I kinda lost all sense of personal space.  With my arm still around her, I grabbed her left hand to see her ring.

IF THIS GIRL HAD ACTUALLY BEEN A FRIEND OF MINE, THIS WOULD BE COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR (I’m trying to justify how embarrassed I am…It’s not really working.).  HOWEVER, I DO NOT KNOW THIS POOR POOR GIRL.

Her (oh, yes, there was still a conversation going on): Oh, yeah, he did a good job.

Me: Oh, I love it!

Her: Yeah.  And it’s sparkly.

Me: Yeah!  But anyway!  You’ll want to go look in active, back there (me pointing to the back of the store).

Now, after she walked away, I had the sudden realization that maybe, just maybe, that wasn’t actually Shannon.  I tried to shake it off, but I just felt like it wasn’t her.

I was right.

The lovely couple that I don’t know completed their purchase and left.  I said goodbye to them as they left, and the girl waved frantically at me after she had left the store.  We finished closing and I went home.  I then texted Shannon (well, her roommate Jaycee) and asked if she was engaged….

She’s not.  We all had a good laugh about it though.  I think them more than me.

Some random stranger put up with my awkward side hug and my even more awkward hand grab.  I’m starting to think that I actually do know this girl, just not as well as I think I do.  And her name is definitely not Shannon.

I’m still embarrassed.  I will be embarrassed about this for years.  You think I’m exaggerating.  I’m not.  It will probably keep me awake some night from now.  I should probably quit my job, too.  I mean, there is a chance that this girl could come in again…and then where would we be?  (I’m kidding.  I’m not going to quit because I was an idiot)

So apologies to the girl who is not Shannon.  But let’s be honest, you now have a good story to tell all your real friends.

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