I feel like I should add a preface to this. So I guess I will.
My backpack has quite a large hole in the bottom. It isn’t very old, but alas, some sharp textbook took revenge on the confines of my pack and stabbed its corner into the bottom. Jerk. I am quite sad about the hole in the bottom of my backpack and have been contemplating buying a new one entirely. I don’t want to, but I need a pack and mine is not longer suitable for duty. The pack is a Jansport. I’ve heard and read that Jansport has a lifetime guarantee but I wasn’t sure if ‘poky textbooks’ fell under coverage. So, kinda stupidly, I wrote them an email asking them if they would replace or repair it or if I would have to do that or what. (I say ‘kinda stupidly because they have their warranty information on their website. But once I started the email, I couldn’t stop.)
I was a little desperate. But I also wanted the email to be fun. The result wasn’t really an email, it was a narrative. Here is what I wrote:
Now, if you ask me, this email was kinda like Ralphie’s theme from A Christmas Story. I imagine all the warranty department gathering around a computer, reading my sad story of my fallen ‘red friend’. At the end, they all gave me an, “A+ plus plus plus plus plus plus plus!”
I also just realized that ‘red friend’ sounds strangely communistic. I promise it’s not. It’s my pack!
But, I’m sure that my email was probably not even read. And if it was, it was by one lone soul who chuckled and then sent me back the generic warranty email.
Now, I’m not upset, I just thought I was terribly clever.
My next step is to get my pack sent on the biggest adventure in its short life: a trip to the ‘doctor’ in California. It will be long, and maybe a little scary.
Wish my friend luck. (Oh, boy, I’d better go prepare it for its journey)